It’s no surprise that everyone has been picked on at any point in their lifetime. I have endured a lot of name calling since I could ever remember. Growing up, I’ve always been the outspoken one, the one who will point out the wrong or how there are other solutions to everything. I wanted to be different than the crowd, but I would always get shot down because it wasn’t the “cool way” to do things. I remember having to move schools and having to be picked on the first day I got there. I was called the “ugly duckling” and a bunch of names that you could possibly think of. And ever since then, I would make sure that I prove those people wrong. There was that time in my life that it got out of control that I didn’t feel safe or felt that I had a purpose. I begged my parents to get me out of the toxic place that I called hell for 5 straight years, but they did nothing. All they did was kept me busy with other things, so I didn’t have to worry about it. Tbh, it didn’t work. The first time I went through a full-on panic attack was after lunch in French class. Now I’m going to tell you right now, I should have transferred out during the beginning of the school year. But I would have had to sacrifice the rest of my class schedule. Did it mess up my mental health? Oh heck yes it did. Having to go through that class was absolute hell. The idiots who I considered to be on my bad side were all in my class or the class after mine. Before my French teacher would call me out for not wanting to participate or not pay attention at all. Having to deal with that panic attack that January afternoon, made my French teacher see how much pain I was going through made her realized she needed to take me seriously. I remember having to talk to her after school that day and having to explain to her the situation. She did notice a few things, but the things I told her made more sense as to why certain were happening in class. It was a war zone, and even if she moved people around the classroom, nothing couldn’t have been done. When it came to these types of situations, I just put on my pissed off face and marched into whatever I was going to endure and hope to God that I am going to come out of that classroom with battle wounds.
Reflecting on that, I feel like I build my confidence by focusing on myself rather than have people dictate how I shouldn’t be myself. I’m glad I made those YT videos back in the day, I’m glad I had my Tumblr page and was able to express how I felt, and I’m pleased that it lead me to what I am currently doing. Looking back at what those people are doing now is nowhere near what I am doing. The number 1 important thing to build that self-confidence is self-love and determination. Things don’t happen just over one night, you just need to keep fighting. Having to endure hell in that French class, my counselor and Vice Principal did everything they could to avoid that situation during my grad year. Even though I saw them through the hallway, I had found my niche that has kept my motivation going til this day. People ask me “Why do I act tough,” “Why do you have do you have so much attitude,” or, “Why are you so sassy?” There are life experiences that have shaped and defined me as a person. My friends say I have a big heart, yet I give them tough love because, at the end of the day, they need to realize that confidence is the way to get through pretty much anything. Why do I bring up this story now? The world is currently living in fear. Having to bully or exclude people is not the way solve the world’s problems.You need to stand up and take action, band together and be united as one. We can all use that confidence boost so we can show the next generation that anything is possible unless you don’t try at all. I want to end this by saying, you need to be yourself and not let anyone tell you who to be. Be authentic, live fearlessly, and shut them down. It’s easy said than done, but you need to find that niche that will help you kick start that boost of confidence.
I hope this was a little helpful, and hope that people need to realize that bullying other people aren’t going to get you anywhere. Trust me, the idiots who bullied me didn’t do much after I graduated. Most of them haven’t figured out the bigger picture, and will continue to be “nobody’s” in their attempts to be “famous.” Doesn’t work that way in a world of 7 billion people. Like good luck with that idiots.
Ps. I want to thank the people who helped me go through this dark chapter of my life. It wasn’t easy, but I’m glad that I am still around today. I am blessed that I was able to overcome this big challenge and do what I love. I feel loved and realize that there is so much to live than people telling me what I should be doing. I wouldn’t be where I am today, so thank you.
For the rest of you, do what makes you happy and make sure that you are living your authentic self. The only person you need to impress is yourself only. Not your friends, not your significant other, not your family, just yourself.
I am going to be on my friend’s FB live this Saturday (Feb 18, 2017) at 6 pm PST (9 pm EST), please send us some questions, and I will be happy to answer them. The link is https://www.facebook.com/thenoorfamily
Hope to see you then! Cheers!